Thought for the Day
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
Big Ern
Last week’s WGC event in Shanghai was rightly applauded for all the right reasons – such as Tiger and Phil Mickelson in the final group of the day, fighting it out down the stretch. Well… except that Tiger, of course, played like a donkey wearing boxing gloves and the challenge to Phil actually came from elsewhere.
And the most welcome direction it came from was in the shape of Ernie Els, who fired a superb 63, that should have been at least a 61, and in the process seemed to be back to his languid, purring best. When Ernie’s at the top of his game, which he sadly hasn’t been for some time now, there is no-one in the world who is better to watch because his swing looks like treacle being poured over velvet. If the TV director were to crop in close to Ernie’s body, so that you couldn’t see the club in his hands, you would get no clue from the tempo of the swing whether he was using a driver or wedge.
This is in marked contrast to Tiger, who I have felt always goes at the ball too hard with a driver. Yes, I know it is ludicrous for a 12 handicapper like me to even think of criticising the best player of his generation, and quite probably the best of all time, but I would much rather see Mr Woods hit 3-wood than 1-wood. Not only does he find more fairways, but he does it with considerably less effort.
But it’s not only the rhythm of Ernie’s swing that makes me a fan, it’s the way in which he goes about his business, treating everyone the same, from prince to pauper. I first interviewed him nearly 20 years ago at St Mellion (remember when the Benson & Hedges used to be played there?). He was a raw, powerful, amiable, young man with a ready grin, with a deftness of touch that suggested he had been blessed by the angels of golf – and nothing much has changed in the almost two decades since, except his age, and perhaps his waistline.
So I was rooting for him up the 18th in Shanghai and of course, the big girl’s blouse stuffed his second shot into water. This is now the third time he has done this in the last year or so while in contention and I seriously worry that the scars may be too deep to eradicate. The only consolation I can give myself is that next year’s Open is at St Andrews which, as far as I recall, doesn’t have water on the final hole.
Picture completely unrelated to golf…Don’t you wish you had thought of this?
Big Bern
I subscribe to a number of scurrilous newsletters, and one of them had a story last week that I feel obliged to pass on. Bernie Winters used to live in a massive house backing on to Gerrards Cross golf course in Buckinghamshire. Back in the day, he really wanted to join it, but the committee kept finding reasons to knock him back. When he finally got the hint that big, fat Jews weren’t welcome at the club, he got his own back by building a 12ft statue of a rabbi facing the course in his back garden. The rabbi was giving the finger with both hands.
The club spent years trying to grow trees to cover it up but as they grew, he raised the statue each year.
(With thanks to Popbitch)
Gagged
There is an element of Tour golf that has always puzzled me and that is, why can’t players criticise the venue? We all know that money talks, and if you’re prepared to spend enough, you can get a pro event to just about any course in the world. But if the greens are rubbish, and the competitors say so, they will be fined and censured, and I have always wondered why they put up with it.
They are, after all, independent practitioners who rise or fall purely on their own merits and talent. Every week is a dogfight and if they have one bad hole, never mind a bad round, they can miss the cut and not get paid that week. So if this week’s venue is sub-standard, why can’t the players say so? Yes, if they behave badly by flinging clubs, swearing audibly or just being ill-mannered, they should be punished. But to lose money for giving an honest opinion on an event or venue? It’s just plain daft.
Quote of the week
Why do I tee the ball high? Because years of experience have shown me that air offers less resistance than dirt.
Jack Nicklaus