Thought for the Day
If the world were a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle
How the Mighty are Fallen
As if Tiger Woods doesn’t have enough problems, news comes from America that paying top sports stars to endorse your products is almost certainly a waste of money, and that the biggest celebrity no-no is Woods himself. The information comes courtesy of a company called Ace Matrix, which studied every celebrity ad in the first 11 months of 2010, and was reported in the magazine Advertising Age. It concluded that: ‘Today’s consumer is informed, time-compressed, and difficult to impress, and they are only influenced by ads that are relevant and provide information. They don’t want to have products pushed at them, even from a celebrity.’
They went further by adding that the wrong celebrity could positively damage sales and the ad that had the greatest negative effect was the one featuring Tiger, created by Nike in the aftermath of his extra-marital revelations, in which he stared at the camera while a recording of his late father’s voice said things like: ‘I want to know if you have learned anything.’ It was widely (and rightly) derided at the time as being in appalling taste and was quickly pulled from the schedules – but it looks as if the damage has been irrevocably done.
Now go away Sonny
My own brush with the Nike brand came at Hoylake in 2006, when a colleague and myself decided to get up early and follow Tiger for his first practice round – and it was, incidentally, probably the most impressive display of ball-striking I have ever seen as Tiger practised the low ‘stinger’ shot that he used so effectively to win the claret jug. The tradition with journalists is that we’re allowed inside the gallery ropes but have to stay as close to them as possible but, because the grass there hadn’t yet been trampled down and was therefore long and wet, and things are usually pretty relaxed at the very beginning of Open week, we walked along the edge of the fairway but naturally stayed quite some distance behind the golfer and his entourage, which included two personal security guys, paid for by Nike and wearing the company’s branded clothes.
After several holes one of then dropped back to have a word with myself and Bill, my companion, and pointed out that we should be walking inside the ropes, not on the fairway. I was about to apologise and scuttle off when Bill impaled the man with a haughty stare and said: ‘This championship is not run by Tiger Woods, nor by Nike or even by you but by the R&A, and we’re here with their permission and certainly don’t need yours.
‘Now go away Sonny.’ I paraphrase because the actual words he used cannot be repeated here – but you will get the gist.
Dumb and dumber
At the Tournament of Champions just over a week ago in Kapalua, Hawaii, Camilo Villegas was disqualified for signing for an incorrect scorecard but, as is common in this sort of case, the real reason for the harsh punishment is that he inadvertently broke a rule and didn’t add on his penalty strokes. What happened is that he faced a steep uphill chip to the 15th green in the third round, slightly undercooked it and had to watch the ball roll inexorably back to his feet. As he waited he casually flicked a piece of loose turf to the side. This was a breach of Rule 23-1 which says, in part: ‘When a ball is in motion, a loose impediment that might influence the movement of the ball must not be removed.’
So far, so straightforward but again, as happens so often, a television viewer spotted the mistake but then, instead of using an ounce of brain power, posted his concerns on the Twitter pages of the US PGA Tour and the Golf Channel because, he says, he didn’t know who to contact. The reason I find this almost impossible to believe is that TV viewer in question is named Dave Andrews, who not only plays golf three times a week but is described, in the PGA Tour’s own news story reporting the event, as someone who ‘spent 30 years as a television reporter, has written a golf novel and does some freelance writing for a blog.’
Excuse me? 30 years experience as a TV reporter, and you don’t know how to contact a TV channel or the US Tour?
I think we have already found the recipient of the 2011 award for the Person who Makes John Daly Look Smart.
La Streisand
There’s never enough room to include all the stuff I want to talk about but for some reason I’m reminded of an event I noticed quite some time ago, when the K Club near Dublin made a ‘special’ offer to spend two nights at the resort and attend a private concert by Barbra Streisand at a nearby stately residence. The deal could be had for the bargain fee of €1,400 (approx £950) per person and ‘places are limited so early booking is recommended.’
I mention it because the press release coincided with the news that comedian Bernard Manning had died, which made me recall one of his jokes, in which a woman went into a hairdresser’s and asked to be made to look like Ms Streisand, so he hit her over the nose with a hairbrush.
Quote of the Week
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain