The Martin Vousden Column:
Thought for the Day
Official figures show that 72% of all statistics are wrong
The bagman’s woes
Despite a plethora of dramatic golf events being played all around the world, the most talked about news over the last couple of weeks has concerned caddies. First came the announcement that Steve Williams, the pompous and self-regarding Neanderthal from New Zealand, had been sacked by Tiger Woods, and then we had the Twitter row between Rory McIlroy and Jay Townsend about the young Irishman’s caddy, JP Fitzgerald.
I will deal with Williams first because frankly, I want to get him out of my mind as quickly as possible. On hearing the news that his services were no longer required by the golfer formerly known as god, Williams responded with all the grace, charm and dignity with which we have come to associate him – that is, none. In a statement of staggering self-importance he said: ‘The last 18 months have been a particularly difficult time caddying for Tiger, working through his scandal, and he’s had a new coach and swing change and I’ve stuck by him through thick and thin and been incredibly loyal. Basically you could say I’ve wasted the last two years of my life [notice, incidentally, how 18 months has now become two years].
‘I pointed out to him when he came back at Augusta in 2010 that he had to earn back my respect and slowly he was doing that but obviously that isn’t the case right now. When the chips were down he put myself and my family in a difficult position but I stuck by him and was loyal to him.’
Williams seems to expect praise for being loyal to a man who is directly responsible for making the caddy a millionaire in his own right and doesn’t seem to grasp the essential fact that loyalty is a pre-requisite of his, or any, job. It’s like expecting to be praised for getting his yardages right. Oh, and he also stuck by his employer when he had a new coach and swing change, so that makes Williams a diamond geezer then, at least in his own eyes.
And how did Woods’ behaviour put Williams and his family in a difficult position? None of us is responsible for the actions of the people who employ us and all Williams had to do during the Woods scandal was keep saying ‘No comment’.
Tiger, despite his remarkable record to date, has always been respected but because of his on and off-course behaviour, never loved in the way some of his predecessors or peers have been. This is partly because of the boorish and supercilious way that both he, and by enthusiastic extension his caddy, have treated those around them.
The partnership has often sullied, rather than improved, golf’s reputation and I am delighted to see 50% of it leave the stage.
Standing up for JP
And then there’s Rory McIlroy’s very public spat with Jay Townsend, a BBC commentator, who started the row after the first round of the Irish Open. On the 18th hole McIlroy found a fairway bunker that he wouldn’t have reached if he left his driver in the bag, and subsequently ran up a double bogey. Townsend described the round as: ‘Some of the worst course management I have ever seen beyond under-10s boys’ competition.’
So far, so offensive but then Townsend agreed with one of his Twitter followers who suggested that Rory’s caddy should be sacked – leading to the inevitable conclusion that he blames the golfer’s on-course decision making on his bagman. And this is what stung Rory into a rather ferocious response, telling Townsend to shut up, and that the American was a failed golfer whose opinion means nothing.
Townsend is, of course, not only entitled to express an opinion but paid to do it but his comment about under-10s boys was excessive, and one for which he has now apologised. It’s an easy trap to fall into. When you receive money for expressing your beliefs or judgement, it is best not make them bland or soporific. So if, for example, I was to suggest that Vijay Singh practises a lot, it wouldn’t cause a ripple but if I said, as David Feherty once memorably did, that the Fijian hits more balls than Elton John’s chin, people tend to take notice.
And as usually happens, a strongly expressed opinion results in an equally strong rebuttal and the hyperbole just gets cranked up another notch or two. McIlroy is absolutely right to defend his caddy because ultimately any course management decisions rests with the player. And unless he was standing on or near enough the tee to hear the conversation between Rory and JP, Townsend has no right to assume that the golfer’s decision was influenced (or not) by the caddy.
So one injudicious remark leads to an equally ill-advised response and nobody’s reputation is enhanced. So come on boys (!) put the toys back into the pram and let’s move on.
Quote of the Week
It is a law of nature that everybody plays a hole badly when playing through.
Bernard Darwin