Not a twitter fan, eh Martin?

Thought for the Day:
Drive too fast to worry about cholesterol

Dumb and dumber
It is almost certainly an age thing – as the years pass I become more and more Luddite and look at technological developments with an increasingly jaundiced eye. Or rather, I look at the way in which these ‘advances’ are used, and the ones that cause me to scratch my head most frequently are those involving social media such as Facebook, Twitter et al. Because of my job writing about golf I felt the need to try and maintain an interest in these events, and for a while I followed a few pro golfers who Tweet – people like Ian Poulter, Justin Rose, Lee Westwood and the like – but I had to give up, for a number of reasons. First, and most obviously foremost, life’s too short. There are far more interesting things to do than discover that Ian Poulter is watching an Arsenal match on television (such as, for example, watching an Arsenal match on television), or that Luke Donald has just dropped his bags off at the hotel before joining him. Second, I did not once, in several weeks of following these guys, learn one thing of value, of interest or even of mild diversion. Even if you’re one of the best golfers in the world, your thoughts on the minutia of your daily existence are of no interest. Third, and this genuinely puzzles me, how egotistical, how wrapped up in your own distorted view of the world or, to put it more crudely, how far do you need to be up your own backside to assume that other people are as interested in you, as you clearly are in yourself? Fourth, nobody who uses Twitter, it seems, has the faintest idea how to cogently express a thought.

These reactionary, and no doubt very unfashionable thoughts have been prompted by a Twittersphere spat between two of the women on the LPGA Tour. Two weeks ago Brittany Lincicome was playing in the Sime Darby LPGA in Malaysia and not having a good time. She tweeted: ‘Golf is SOOO dang frustrating :-( Can’t wait for the year to be over!!!!!!!!!!!’ She later added: ‘Rain rain go away. Actually if it stays around I won’t have to play anymore!!!!!! :-)’

I object to this message not for its content (which is typically trite) but for the juvenile, way in which it is written. The author, remember, is a 27-year-old professional sportswoman who has been on tour since 2005, travelled the world, recorded five wins and represented her country in three Solheim Cups. And yet she writes like an excitable eight-year-old who thinks that, if one exclamation mark adds drama or interest to a sentence, then 11 will presumably add eleven times more importance. It is perhaps unkind to single out Brittany because one of the characteristics of nearly all Twitter uses, it appears, is an inability to express a rational thought in an adult way.

Her Tweet prompted a response from Christina Kim, who you should be aware has had a lousy season and is obliged to attend Q-School for the first time in her career. She seems also never to have an idea, no matter how trivial or misguided, without wanting to share it with the world. She replied to Brittany, saying in effect, a lot of people would like to be in your shoes so stop bitching. Therefore, according to Ms Kim, we aren’t allowed to complain about anything because other people may be in a worse situation. With reasoning like that she should consider an academic career teaching logic. The row escalated, as these things do, but what bugs me most about the whole episode is that I am obliged to write about it.

End of a dream?
For the first time in his dramatic career, Tiger Woods has acknowledged that his lifelong goal of equalling or surpassing Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 major wins may be beyond him. Last week he was in Kuala Lumpur, taking part in the CIMB Classic (he finished tied fourth), one of those tournaments that Ernie Els calls Wheelbarrow events – because that’s what you need to take home the huge amounts of prize money from an otherwise insignificant week.

At the age of 36 Tiger is no longer the young gun shooting at the established stars, that job belongs to Rory McIlroy, and he also has to acknowledge that his own career has helped raise the bar to such an extent that many more golfers are now capable of winning a major. Leading up to this year’s US PGA Championship, the previous 16 majors were all won by different golfers, 10 of them being rookie champions. Woods believes that improvements to equipment, which nullify some of the skills required by the very best ball-strikers, and increased fitness and athleticism, contribute to a more level playing field. He said that the list of potential winners goes much deeper than previously and added: ‘Some times the cut margin was 12, 13, even 14 shots. Now, generally, we have 70-plus guys who are within 10 shots. I have to work to become better myself because everybody else is.’

Many observers have suggested that Tiger’s major winning days may be behind him but it’s the first time he has said it himself.

Quote of the Week
If there is one constant I’ve found for being successful on the greens, it’s that good putters believe they’re good putters
Raymond Floyd