Thought for the Day
What would Geronimo have said if he jumped out of an airplane?
Dane brings home the bacon (sorry)
The motives we have for developing a liking for a particular golfer are numerous and not always related to the obvious fact of them being particularly superior at what they do. They’re all good, but some insinuate themselves into our affections for idiosyncratic reasons which can be as simple as seeing them treat a young fan in a particularly generous way, or wearing an outlandish outfit. For example, I have always followed the career of Australian Craig Parry with particular attention. During the 1990s when I worked on a golf magazine he was one of our instruction editors and I used to go to photoshoots in order to capture his words. Whenever I complimented him on an especially good shot he would reply with a smile, in typically Aussie fashion: ‘Nah mate – piece of p*ss to a trained athlete.’
For an equally individual reason, Thomas Bjorn is among the select group of golfers on my personal list of favourites. At the St Andrews Open of 2000 he, a few other players and small group of journalists were on the balcony of the Links clubhouse after some official function. We were just shooting the breeze and Thomas, in that wonderfully laconic and droll style of his, recounted a number of salacious, no doubt libellous (and therefore not possible to repeat here) and vastly entertaining stories about himself and his fellow pros. Ever since, I have considered him to be the Daddy of Cool and his unhurried, almost lazy perambulations down the fairways have often had me in attendance as a result.
So congratulations on winning the Estoril Open de Portugal, Tommy – now for The Open.
Great Scot
Speaking of the Open, Colin Montgomerie rightly grabbed all the headlines a week ago by shooting 69, 62 at Sunningdale to get into the Championship via International final qualifying. And he did it the hard way, with an okay but not great morning round, leaving him with the knowledge that he had to do something special after lunch to make the grade. That he was able to equal the Sunningdale New course record with a blistering 62, which he admits came as a surprise to himself, speaks volumes for the fact that, even if some of the talent atrophies with advancing years, the competitive fires do not diminish. It will be good to see the old boy at St Andrews.
My eye, however, is always drawn to those who fail to make the grade – and let us not under-estimate quite how difficult this examination is, with only 10 going through from a field of 96 battle-hardened Tour pros. Imagine, for example, that you are Patrik Sjoland (68, 66), James Kingston (65, 69), Gregory Bourdy (67, 67), Jamie Donaldson (68, 66) or Peter Lawrie (67, 67). All five of them tied on 134 with Marcel Siem but lost out in a playoff when the German birdied the first extra hole.
Others who didn’t make it at Sunningdale and who are fast running out of chances to appear in the 150th Anniversary Open are: Darren Clarke, David Howell, Paul McGinley, Niclas Fasth, Alastair Forsyth, Nick Dougherty and Oliver Fisher.
Few areas of life are as hard-hearted and merciless as professional sport, and golf is the flintiest bitch of all.
Low on the totem poll
Depressingly, apart from Monty, the only Scots so far guaranteed a spot in the Open are Paul Lawrie and Sandy Lyle, who are exempt as former champions under the age of 60. The only one to make the field on playing ability alongside Monty is Martin Laird, who is the highest placed Scotsman in the world rankings, at a lofty 113th as I write. If you’re not too familiar with the name it’s because the Glasgow-born Laird attended Colorado State University and plays full time on the US PGA Tour.
The Caledonians nearest to him in the world rankings are Stephen Gallacher (135th), Richie Ramsay (158th) and David Drysdale (200th). Monty sits at 365th. And to think that the Scots invented golf.
Nothing should be pre-ordained
Jack Nicklaus, among others has prognosticated on Cory Pavin’s statement that Tiger Woods was ‘not guaranteed’ a place on the US Ryder Cup team if he didn’t play his way into the side on merit. When Jack speaks I listen but I’m afraid this time he has it all wrong by suggesting that the US captain ‘would need a brain scan’ if he didn’t include Tiger.
We all know that Tiger’s performances in the Ryder Cup have never matched those he displays in 72-hole strokeplay events, and with his recent travails and five month layoff clearly affecting his form, Pavin would be stupid to say the world number one is guaranteed a place. Picking someone on reputation rather than form is a sure-fired way of losing. Come to think of it, perhaps we should all write to Corey and say: ‘Great idea, and while you’re at it, why not pick Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer, because few in golf have bigger reputations.’
Pop Quiz
What do Jeramy (correct spelling) May, Alan Flood and Jimmy Craig have in common?
Answer: All three were spectators on the final day of the Memorial Tournament at Muirfield Village (won so brilliantly by Justin Rose), and all three were hit by the golf ball of Tiger Woods, in three separate incidents.
When such things occur Tiger’s in the habit of giving the victim a signed glove as an apology. So if you see him in the weeks ahead playing gloveless, you’ll know where they all went.
Quote of the Week
Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one.
Anon