C’mon Ernie! Make it a double (win, not bogey).

Today’s column from Martin. Now we’re not saying he’s cantankerous but…
Thought for the Day
Can someone who knows Morse code ever really enjoy a tap-dancing show?

Defining moments
Before starting I should, perhaps, declare an interest – Ernie Els is my favourite golfer in the world. Not just because of the apparently unconscious fluidity of his swing (which is an illusion, by the way, as he works just as hard on that beautiful rhythm as on any other part of his game) but also because he thinks that the way you live your life and treat other people is just as important as the trophies and honours you gather along the way. He remains as he always been; polite, considerate, amiable, relaxed and funny – in short, he’s not Vijay Singh.

So it is with some trepidation (and possibly a little hyperbole) that I write that the next few hours could decide the rest of Ernie’s career. He leads the weather-delayed Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill by two strokes with four to play and if he finishes the job will have won twice in a row on the US Tour, and be pumped and ready for the Masters, in 10 days’ time*. Unfortunately for our hero, that two-stroke lead was five just two holes earlier, so when the players were pulled off the course because of the threat of lightning, the break came at just the right time for Big Ern to gather his composure.

That’s the positive spin. The other side of the coin is that he’s had about 17 hours to brood on that double-bogey, bogey finish, and ponder the frailty he showed last season when, on at least two different occasions, he chunked it into water on the last when in contention.

As he said when he came off the course: ‘Obviously, I’m not totally at ease with myself right now. I’m a little angry or disappointed or whatever you want to call it. There’s still work out there to be done, and I’ve got to get it done.’

He does indeed. But if, (and I’m keeping everything crossed and rubbing all my lucky charms) he doesn’t get the job done, the scars will be so deep they may never heal. He still has the talent but it’s what he has between the ears that counts now.

*And no, he won’t win the Masters, even if he prevails at Bay Hill. To win three times in a few weeks, with the last of those being the Major he most desperately wants to take, is too much even for his stupendous talent.

Tiger’s almost back
At the beginning of the Tiger Woods saga we said we wouldn’t comment on his private life, and that remains the case but it is impossible not to respond to a lot of the garbage that has been written and spoken about the world number one’s public apology, and his subsequent return to competitive golf, at the Masters.

First, there was a great deal of righteous huffing and puffing back in the middle of February when Woods read out a long statement of apology and remorse – all that was missing was self-flagellation and the words ‘mea culpa’ on continuous loop. Commentators around the world squealed because the apology was, in their view, stage managed and probably written by Tiger’s management company, IMG.

Well of course it was – what else would you expect? This is the same company, you may recall, that sits down with Tiger’s clothing sponsor, Nike, to decide well in advance what the great man will wear on each of the four days of every major championship, in order to make sure that shops have plentiful supplies. IMG micro-manages every aspect of Tiger’s public life, which is just how he likes it, so it is nonsensical for observers to rise up in faux righteous anger when it happens during the most important part of his life.

Second, he is criticised for announcing that he will return to competitive golf at the Masters, the most tightly controlled event in world sport but yet again, why the surprise? It makes perfect sense for Tiger to make his comeback in a setting where the press, and that means both writers and photographers, are not allowed inside the gallery ropes, where any fan who shouts something aggressive or inappropriate will be thrown out (and never be allowed back), and where every element of the tournament, including television coverage, is dictated by the event host.

None of this is intended to condone or excuse anything Tiger has done but the truth remains that his behaviour in his private life remains between him and the people involved. I, for one, am just delighted to have the chance to see him strut his imperious stuff once more on a golf course.

Will he win? All I can say is that he’s Tiger, and no-one has yet grown wealthy by betting against him.

Quote of the Week
The fundamental problem with golf is that every so often, no matter how lacking you may be in the essential virtues required of a steady player, the odds are that one day you will hit the ball straight, hard, and out of sight. This is the essential frustration of this excruciating sport. For when you’ve done it once, you make the fundamental error of asking yourself why you can’t do this all the time. The answer to this question is simple: the first time was a fluke.
Colin Bowles