View from the GoKart seat

From Trevor P. Very north of the border.
“I fitted my new GoKart seat which I’ve found worthwhile in the following ways:
1. It’s a conversation piece that draws further attention to a cart which already often attracts curious and admiring scrutiny.
2. It’s a good piece of ‘one-upmanship’ equipment – “Oops, I nearly put my driver into your bag until I remembered that your GoKart is the one without the seat!” [Sorry Brian, I couldn’t resist that one!]
3. It might speed up play on a Monday morning at Carnoustie when we are being held up by slow players from the Dalhousie Club – I plan to pointedly take to my new seat and pull out a book in the hope that the guys may take the hint and less us through (won’t hold my breath though!).
4. It’s handy to sit on at times (e.g. to re-tie a shoelace, while checking the Rules, eating a sandwich, waiting for slow players to move on, etc.)
While kitting up my cart, I decided to Autumnclean my golf bag and this yielded some useful results. The first move was to remove 31 golf balls which were surplus to requirement, thus probably improving my 0 – 6 m.p.h. acceleration by at least 0.2 secs.
To my amazement, among my 31 golf balls I also came across a pair of binoculars and a mini-theodolite both of which I thought I’d mislaid. The latter I bought on Ebay partly out of curiosity and partly for the chance of having a mischievous dig at buddies who’ve spent hundreds of pounds on sophisticated GPS devices. My acquisition is a similar size and looks much the same as some laser pin-seekers. In terms of giving a distance to the pin, it’s often just as good as their expensive devices with the added benefit that when asked about its cost I can say “I can’t remember exactly – it was around £2.38 but the postage knocked the cost up quite a bit.” The lens of my distance-finder is so good that it works well as a monocular and so I can leave the binoculars out of my bag.
Apart from all these weight savings I’ve also been able to re-examine all of those mysterious objects one finds on golf courses – you know, the sort of things that you can’t quite bring yourself to throw away because of the intellectual challenge they present in trying to figure out what the hell they are. I suspect that this is often a forlorn hope because they are really just parts of objects which one may not have ever actually come across.
Still, one strange find I had that was a surprise but not an enigma was a glass eye. I never found out who lost it or how but for a while I used it as a ball-marker. It was interestingly different but had its drawbacks. For anyone who is wondering whether to use such a ball-marker I must warn you that it is not to be recommended for use on sloping greens where it’s inclined to produce some rather disturbing special effects”.

Trevor. Our minds are boggled.