Special delivery instructions

“Hurry its beginning to rain”
Ron B, Taunton

“If not in, please dont try hoiking the box over the 6 foot wall as there is, unsurprisingly really, a corresponding 6 foot drop the other side.” Robin V. Wilmslow

“Could I please have it delivered by a statuesque young maiden.” Alan C, Falkirk

“If not home, please leave with any of my neighbours – I trust them all”
Valeria P, Abergele

“OK Toys for the boys!! Am sick of him knicking my cart so send him his own for Christmas……… will save a divorce!! If you need a String Quartet we are just as efficient as you.  Many thanks”
Jackie W, Chesterfield

“Try and leave with neighbour if possible if no one Home. Some more free tees would be appreciated.”
Malcolm H, Bedlington

“Please enclose tip on how to get some height on my drives. Cheers”
Steve M, Washington

“Knock loud. Wife’s deaf as post”
Paul B, Blackpool

If driving north through the village, we are the last thatched cottage on the right hand side. Do not stop outside the cottage as it is almost on a blind bend and very dangerous. Drive past the cottage a few yards and pull in to the gravel drive way outside the barn ended garage. Take the left hand gate and walk down through the garden to the side (utility room)door
Helen G, Hants

I am a fat old drunk. Mornings tend to be a bit iffy. Delivery in the afternoon would be much appreciated.
William B, London

Delivered on a velvet pillow please. A chauffeur for the cart would be a plus.
Chris B, Glasgow

This is my brothers address and he has a dog that makes a lot of noise but is no harm to anyone.
Brian H, Durham

Knock loudly. Teenager with headphones
Michael B, Barnoldswick