It’s that time of year again when everyone hands out bouquets and brickbats, and we’re no exception.
Storm in a Teacup of the Year:
Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia
At the Players’ Championship, Tiger pulled a club out of his bag, causing spectators to cheer while Sergio was on his backswing. The sniping continued for several days. They don’t like each other; can we move on?
Runner-up: Mark Steinberg
Tiger Woods’ agent threatened to sue Brandel Chamblee for implying that Tiger was a cheat. He didn’t sue, of course.
Bizarre Name(s) of the Year:
Brandel Chamblee
But it doesn’t end there. He has three children, who he has called Brandel Jr, Brennen and Bergen. Are they even names?
Good News of the Year:
The Professional Golfers Association of America. It has announced that it is considering taking the US PGA Championship, the year’s fourth major, outside the USA. They are to be applauded.
Major of the Year:
The Open
Adam Scott at the Masters was redemption personified; Jason Dufner was never really threatened at the US PGA; Justin Rose was superb in the US Open but it was the Open Championship that really delivered. Phil Mickelson’s win was as dramatic as it was heart-warming.
Player of the Year:
Henrik Stenson
Tiger won four times but in the last six months the Swede has been peerless. And he’s a much better advertisement for the game of golf than Tiger could ever be.
Grateful Caddy of the Year:
Gareth Lord
Who carries for Henrik and as result of the Swede’s last six months’ work, bought himself a Ferrari.
Oddest Decision of the Year:
Tom Watson
Way back in January, on his appointment as US Ryder Cup captain, Tom said that Tiger Woods would be in his team for the 2014 competition. To make such a declaration 21 months in advance is just offering a hostage to fortune.
Rookie of the Year (Europe):
Peter Uihlein
He won on in his rookie season and finished 14th in the Race to Dubai. More importantly, he played in the Dunhill Links Championship alongside young Scots amateur Bradley Neil. He was so impressed that he donated £10,000 to the Scottish Golf Union to help with the lad’s expenses.
Rookie of the Year (USA):
Jordan Speith
He had one win, three runner-up finishes and nine top-10s; eighth in the FedEx standings and almost $4 million in winnings. Some times the numbers say it all.
Golf Course of the Year:
Merion
Venue of the US Open – proving that great design doesn’t have to be 8,000 yards long.
Runner-up: Thracian Cliffs, Bulgaria.
The venue of the Volvo World Matchplay is dramatic, difficult but most of all, different.
Poser of the Year:
Gary Player
At the age of 77 he appeared naked in the ESPN magazine Body issue, and men all over the world over the age of 40 hated him for it.
Disappointment of the Year (Europe):
Rory McIlroy
There’s really only one contender.
Disappointment of the Year (America):
Rickie Fowler
Hailed as the next great thing since he joined the PGA Tour in 2009, he’s managed one win in five years. And 2013 was his worst season yet, finishing 42nd in the FedEx Cup standings – he’s going backwards.
Inexplicable Decision of the Year:
Augusta National
For choosing not to disqualify Tiger Woods, who took an illegal drop at the Masters. They retrospectively gave him a two-stroke penalty but he had already signed his card so disqualification was the only option under the rules.
Runner-up: Tiger Woods
For accepting the decision and not disqualifying himself, as any honourable golfer would have done.
Meltdown of the Year:
Sergio Garcia
Standing on the 17th tee at Sawgrass, Sergio was tied for the lead. He played the last two holes in six-over par, with three balls in the water, allowing Tiger to win.
Sporting Gesture of the Year:
Angel Cabrera
On the first playoff hole of the Masters he had the grace to offer a thumbs-up to Adam Scott for playing a superb approach to the green. Classy.
Comeback of the Year:
David Howell
One of golf’s good guys has finally emerged from a career slump of monumental proportions. He won the Dunhill Links Championship, did not miss a cut in 30 events and finished 21st in the Race to Dubai. Welcome back.
Golf Club of (any) Year:
Club Campestre, Juárez, Mexico
Between 2008 and 2011, Suarez saw more than 7,500 murders, at its peak about eight a day, and was called ‘murder capital of the world.’ But the club members just kept on playing.
Delayed Decision of the Year:
Royal Burgess Golf Society
It’s the oldest in the world, having been founded in 1735, and is taking soundings among its members, on whether to vote and allow women to join. Some things take a little time.
Flaming Comet of the Year:
Inbee Park
Between February and June she won six times, three of them majors and was giving putting lessons to God. Between June and October she had one top-10 finish. She is the LPGA Player of the Year but burned very brightly for such a short time.
Asinine Tweet of the Year:
Amelia Lewis
(Selected from a shortlist of 548 entries) The LPGA pro tweeted: ‘I know im at risk of sounding like a Marvel nerd but Thor 2 was awesome!! Possibly just as great as Avengers??????’
Go easy on the punctuation there Amelia
Runner-up: Take your pick
Has any golfer ever said anything remotely worthwhile on Twitter?
Shot of the Year:
1st: Justin Rose 4-iron to Merion’s 18th from where Ben Hogan played his memorable 1-iron all those years ago.
2nd: Henrik Stenson 3-wood to 72nd at the DP World Tour Championship in Dubai – how do you hit a 3-wood to six inches?
3rd: Phil Mickelson’s wedge to the first playoff hole at the Scottish Open.
Performance of the Year:
The European Solheim Cup team
They not only won but did it in America for the first time, and in imperious style. The victory margin of 18-10 is the biggest in the history of the competition.
Spoilt Brat of the Year:
Michelle Wie
She couldn’t handle being on the losing Solheim Cup team and consistently walked off the green, leaving her opponent/s to wonder if their putt had been conceded.
Numpty of the Year:
Steve Elkington, who at the beginning of December tweeted ‘Helicopter crashes into Scottish Pub…Locals report that no beers were spilt.’ His follow-up tweet said: ‘Our report was “helicopter flopped on Pub…No injuries”…Obviously it’s very serious,’ which doesn’t quite constitute an apology.
Product of the Year:
The GoKart trolley
How could you doubt it?