They just Aarrrrrrrrrrr.

Sorry. We’re in eye patch and cutlass mode having visited the rather wonderful Hoebridge Golf Centre in Woking, Surrey. As well as three golf courses it also has ‘Pirate Island’ an adventure golf area for kids (and slightly older kids, ahem) WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. Just try getting round in level twos and you’ll soon be booking a putting lesson. That crocodile has a lot to answer for. Take a look here.

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Thought for the Day
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump

Crash and burn
We amateurs are well acquainted with the abject feeling of despair that comes from playing the last two holes in six over par – well, I certainly am. In fact, for many handicap golfers, finding increasingly imaginative ways of screwing up a good round is part of our DNA. It took me many years of gut-wrenching experience to learn how to stay, as the pros say, ‘in the moment’ and not let my brain race away with what might be achieved, and in the process make a complete pig’s ear of the last few holes.

You will, I am sure, be familiar with those intrusive thoughts along the lines of: ‘If I could manage no worse than a couple of bogies and a par over the last three, I’ll have a really good score.’ You will be equally familiar with the reality that as soon as these ideas pop into your head your swing goes to hell in a handcart and big numbers become the norm, even on holes you usually regard as among the easiest on the course. There is little consolation in the thought: ‘I was one-over par for the front nine,’ when it is immediately followed by: ‘But I made two double bogies and a triple in the last three.’

In my case salvation came many years ago after a particularly miserable conclusion to a round during which, for 15 holes I had played almost as well as I am capable, before imploding in a style that would make even John Daly envious. I will spare you the car-crash details but once I had the chance to calm down (it only took a few months) I was able, finally, to put a round of golf into some sort of perspective. I concluded that this is something I do for enjoyment but it does not define me or my career. In short, while I want to play well, I am now able to accept those (many) occasions when I don’t.

It is the same mentality that has helped me on the putting green, as a result of advice I received from a man far wiser than me. He pointed out that there are only two possibilities when you stand over a putt – you will hole it or miss it – and once you accept that the latter is possible but not disastrous, you hole considerably more.

I still hit far more bad shots than I should, and playing to my handicap is, more often than not, an unrealised ambition but I can usually take some comfort from a round, even if it’s only one good drive or a particularly tricky putt holed.

Sergio Garcia can have few such consolations because playing the last two holes in level par is an almost derisorily easy task for someone of his gifts. So to complete 17 and 18 in the Players’ Championship in six over, with three balls in the water, must be a mightily bitter pill to swallow. This will be especially true as the man who played those same holes in level par and lifted the trophy is Tiger Woods, with whom Sergio is unlikely to share a consolation glass of wine in the clubhouse. That these two men do not send each other Christmas cards is well-known, and they exchanged uncomplimentary views of each other again during the week. So for Sergio, the desire to win would have burned with even greater ferocity as it also represented a chance to stick it to The Man.

However bad your working days might be this week the chances are they will be better than Sergio’s on Sunday.

Real Golfers
What do you think defines a real golfer? It is something I have been mulling over (again) while watching The Players’ but I’m sure you will have many suggestions of your own

1. Real Golfers do not tuck their golf glove into a rear trouser pocket while striding up the fairway
2. Real Golfers do not play pink, yellow or orange golf balls
3. Real golfers do not cry over their fourth putt
4. Real Golfers recognise that the game is about frustrated ambition, not consistent success
5. Real Golfers do not fling their golf clubs
6. Real Golfers judge their fellow players by the quality of their personality, and not their handicap
7. Real Golfers walk
8. Real Golfers use wooden (bio-degradable) tees, and not ones made from plastic
9. Real Golfers never resort to gamesmanship
10. Real Golfers don’t take a Mulligan
11. Real golfers do not scream: ‘Get in the hole’ or other inanities

Quote of the Week
Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within view of the law, but being a form of moral effort
Stephen Leacock

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which might have prompted an impromptu karaoke at GoKart HQ this afternoon. Turns out we can all do very good goat impressions…with apologies to anyone we might have screamed down the phone to by mistake…

Why not check out the new automatic golf trolleys in stock?

From 30/04/13 the prices shown in our webshop include postage and packing to most Mainland UK addresses. Some offshore or Highland addresses may incur a surcharge to cover the additional cost of shipping.

Why not check out the new automatic golf trolleys in stock?

Thought for the Day:
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto a motorway

G’Day Mate
There is nothing more pleasing in sport, or life, as a tale of redemption – the hero who trampolines back from desperate disappointment or failure to eventually triumph (you can add the phrase ‘against all odds’ if you wish because most newspapers and magazines probably will). And so, despite huge sympathy for Angel Cabrera, who epitomised how to lose with grace, let us roll out the bunting and raise a glass or three to Adam Scott. Ever since he emerged as a pro golfer there have been predictions of a glowing future, replete with major championships. The most notable of these came from his coach, Butch Harmon, who famously said that Adam’s basic swing fundamentals were better even than those of Tiger, and he was right. Scott has always had a classically orthodox swing of perfect tempo. And the predictions appeared prescient as the young Australian made good progress, with a steady, if not spectacular accumulation of titles – nine wins in America, eight in Europe – with the most notable of these being the Player’s Championship. But that was in 2004 and the huge hole in his CV was his comparatively dreadful form in the majors. For a full decade he simply disappeared when any of the four big ones were played and to say that his major record was a disappointment is akin saying that Paris Hilton is a bit of a goer.

But then he switched to the long putter and suddenly he was a contender. In 2012 alone he finished tied eighth in the Masters, tied 15th in the US Open, tied 11th in the US PGA and of course, runner-up to Ernie Els in The Open, having a cataclysmic meltdown over the last four holes. But like Rory McIlroy before him he was able, somehow, to use that enormous disappointment as a spur rather than sheet anchor. It has taken him a while but I’m sure that if we could ask him this morning he would say that it has all been worthwhile.

Not a loser
Angel Cabrera may not have a second green jacket but he has, I’m sure, made even more friends as a result of coming so close. It has always been easy to like him for the unpretentious, unruffled and uncomplicated way in which he has gone about his business, swinging the club with a languid, easy grace and getting on with it. He has always been a welcome antidote to the affected, if not downright pompous self-importance that seems to afflict so many. Jason Day please take note – it is possible to hit a golf ball both well and in less time than it takes glaciers to form. Cabrera’s apparently genuine admiration for Adam Scott’s play was, for me, the highlight of the week. Having hit his approach shot to what turned out to be the final hole, when Scott matched it he immediately turned and gave a thumbs up (which, inevitably, Peter Alliss missed in the BBC commentary booth). Angel is a true gentleman.

Rules is rules
Of all the majors it is this first one that often throws up more stories and drama that the other three combined and this year it was two highly controversial rules decisions that dominated the news. The first concerned the Chinese teenage prodigy Tianlang Guan – and am I alone in being a little spooked by his apparent absence of emotion? His unchanging facial expression, not smiling even when he holed a crucial putt made me think of a cyborg rather than a young, inexperienced golfer on the journey of a lifetime. Perhaps he was just in shock. Those who suggest, however, that the penalty applied for slow play, the first in Masters history, was unfair, are wide of the mark for two reasons. First, in a sport and event not noted for the speed at which participants move, he stood out as even more excruciatingly slow than the rest. He was spoken to on the 10th, put on the clock at the 12th, warned again on the 13th, and yet again on the 17th tee, before finally getting the stroke penalty while he dithered over his approach to the green on the same hole. Second, the rules official involved was the European Tour’s John Paramor, and to question his integrity, as part of some conspiracy, is to grossly misunderstand the man and his character. Perhaps no-one has, rather famously, ever been docked a stroke before in America because they don’t have officials of the same calibre and guts as John.

Which brings us to Tiger. I have been an advocate, for many years now, of common sense and logic being applied when it comes to rules infringements. Yes, he dropped incorrectly and should have added two penalty strokes to his score and for that, disqualification is the punishment. But the game’s lawmakers recently decided to remind us all that, in exceptional cases, disqualification can be waived by the committee. They reviewed the incident before Tiger signed his card and decided no infringement had taken place. When he then described to the press what he had done, and it became clear that he had violated the rules, the committee looked again and took the very sensible decision that, as they had previously told the player he was okay to sign his card, it would then have been grossly unfair to penalise him retrospectively for following their advice. It raises the question of why, during its review, the committee did not see what was obvious to a blind man (that Tiger was dropping in the wrong place) but that is a different debate for another day.

Quote of the Week
Hitting a golf ball is an act so precise that there is unlimited room for error. That error begins in the mind and finds expression in the swing
Lorne Rubenstein

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We’ve been following Tom Sherreard, from Chart Hills, on his pro quest since 2012. This year the the season has already taken him to Egypt and Spain on the Alps tour (are there Alps in Egypt? We’re confused…)

“A new golfing year has started and with this in mind I am writing my first blog of the 2013 season. Last year didn’t end quite as planned, falling short at the second week of European Tour School leaving me to play Alps Tour golf for a further year. Having finished 11th on the Alps tour last year I managed to keep my playing rights without having to go back to the Alps Qualifying School.

So far this year I have played three events on the Alps, the first two as part of a winter series in Egypt, finishing T17th and T14th respectively. The third event was played at Golf de Layos near the beautiful town of Toledo near Madrid. I played solidly all week apart from a couple of mistakes leading to two double bogeys. Despite this and the tough conditions I managed to finish on a total of 217 (+1) for three rounds, finishing in a tie for 12th. With three top 20’s in my first three events I feel happy with a solid start, however I know there is much more to give and the prospect of the 2013 season excites me; it’s just a case of getting in the grove and finding the swing again.

My next tournament takes me to Golf de Rebetz in northern France starting on May 1st. For score updates please check out alpstourgolf.com and keep your eyes on the order of merit, hopefully my name will work its way up from its current position of 16th to the top over the next few months…

Tip of the month
As with last year my blogs will come with a tip to help you improve your own game. This month’s tip is all about being more specific in your pre shot routine to reduce the margin of your errors.

When you are picking a line to hit any shot, pick something very specific to aim at. Too many times I hear amateurs saying that they are simply aiming ‘up the fairway’ or ‘at the green’. Try to pick a much smaller specific target. There are two main ways of doing this, some people like to pick a blade of grass or something literally two feet in front of them to help their alignment, this giving them a very specific point to aim at. Others (myself included) try and pick something in the distance, usually on the horizon or higher up than the area you are trying to hit into. Again this is simply a way of making the target as specific as possible to try and really focus in and reduce the chances of making an error.

If at first you find this too difficult it may be worth trying to aim for a specific strip in the fairway, as the mowers usually cut narrow stripes in the fairway. When approaching the green try to aim for a specific part of the green, either front left, front right and so on. This will help you focus in on specific areas and will reduce the margin of area, after all if you are simply aiming to hit the fairway and miss it, you will find the rough, whereas if you are aiming for a specific target within the fairway and miss that, you still have a chance to hit the rest of the fairway…

Happy golfing during 2013 – let’s hope for some warmer, drier weather so you can all get your GoKarts out and enjoy playing again.”

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Eco friendliness gone mad. You can now buy fish food golf balls. And whack them into the sea and feel good about it. Don’t forget, it’s still stroke and distance though – www.albusgolf.com

Golf ball turning into fish food

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Nothing to do with golf, but this made us laugh…

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Are we excited?  Just a bit.

Why not check out the new automatic golf trolleys in stock?

We saw this one at Kings Hill golf club at the weekend. Like the way the owner keeps his GoKart’s badge nice and clean…

Why not check out the new automatic golf trolleys in stock?