Republic of Ireland
Did they really say that?
Feb 05 2013 Posted in Golf Quotes by GoKart
These are reports of phone calls to a course in the States. Really.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What are your green fees?
Staff: 38 dollars.
Caller: Does that include golf?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from you. First, is this your correct phone number?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday.
What’s the weather going to be like that day?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I’m running late. Can you still get me out early?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of golf balls and hit them for practice?
Staff: You mean a driving range?
Caller: No, that’s not it.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I’d like to get a tee time tomorrow between 12 o’clock and (more…)
A golfing roundup of 2012, with Martin Vousden
Dec 27 2012 Posted in Golf News, Golf Quotes, Martin Vousden by GoKartThought for the Day:
The hardness of the butter is inversely proportional to the softness of the bread
That Was The Year That Was
It has been a great year for sport but a mixed one for golf. Here are my awards for the 2012 golf season
Bulging-eyed Raving Lunatic of the Year
The Ryder Cup was won by the Americans in less than two days. Until that final Saturday fourball when Ian Poulter launched his own one-man crusade, birdied the last five holes and gave his team-mates the sliver of self-belief they needed to romp through the singles and snatch the unlikeliest of victories.
Depressing Read of the Year
Hank Haney’s book The Big Miss revealed Tiger to be, at times, spiteful, aloof and mean-spirited. We may have suspected as much but did we really need to have it confirmed?
Event of the Year
The Ryder Cup – it’s the only contender.
Worst Shot of the (more…)
Add a comment TweetWell they’ve got three years to practice…Martin Vousden on the long farewell.
Dec 10 2012 Posted in Golf News, Golf Quotes, Martin Vousden by GoKartThought for the Day:
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Anchors aweigh
The R&A and USGA have collectively climbed off the fence on which they have been sitting for more than 30 years, and announced their intention to effectively outlaw long putters. Having decided that, from 2016 we will not be able to anchor the long flat stick to any part of our body, they are, in essence, banning them because they are just about impossible to use without an anchor point. In the wake of the press release telling us of this change it is informative to compare the comments made by one player who will be affected, before and after the ban was announced.
Keegan Bradley Before
‘I’m going to do whatever I have to do to protect myself and the other players on Tour. Everybody on Tour who uses an unconventional putter has a big say in this. I hear the USGA and the R&A have talked to a lot of players about this. Well, they’ve never approached me. They should get our side before they make any drastic decision. To say they will ban this after we’ve won majors is unbelievable. It’s the way we’ve practiced and made our living. Some players have put in 15 to 20 years of practice and all of a sudden they’re going to make up a rule. That’s harsh’
Keegan Bradley After
‘I’m obviously not happy with the (more…)
And you thought that last round you had was tough!?
Aug 26 2011 Posted in Golf News, Golf Quotes by GoKart
In addition to these rules, German aircraft from Norway would fly on missions to northern England; because of the icy weather conditions, the barrels of their guns had a small dab of wax to protect them. As they crossed the coast, they would clear their guns by firing a few rounds at the golf courses. Golfers were urged to take cover.
Add a comment TweetThe Martin Vousden Column – Fed up with Fedex?
Dec 02 2010 Posted in Golf News, Golf Quotes, Martin Vousden by GoKartThought for the Day
Never buy a car you can’t push
Memo to Tim Finchem, commissioner of the US PGA Tour
If you want your golf season to end with drama and excitement – for your final event to be one that rouses passions, pits the best players of the year against each other and to culminate in a thrilling climax, have a word with FedEx. You might also consider flying to Dubai to see how Europe does it.
Let’s face it, your FedEx Cup playoffs, in which you stage four tournaments over five weeks, and which has a format of re-adjusting points after each event that no-one understands, has been the biggest damp squib since Guido Fawkes and his mates failed to blow up the Houses of Parliament. In contrast the race to Dubai, culminating in the Dubai World Championship, has been running for two years now and has the happy knack of leaving all sorts of possibilities open until the last putt has been sunk.
Last year the focus was on the season long Race to Dubai, in which Lee Westwood and young tyke Rory McIlroy slugged it out until Westwood shot a staggering last round of near-perfection 64 and put the young pup in his place. This year the order of merit table was quickly settled in favour of front-runner Martin Kaymer, as his closest challenger Graeme McDowell ran out of gas as early as the first round. So our attention turned instead to the tournament itself, and it was a thriller, (more…)
Add a comment TweetVousden in Open week
Jul 12 2010 Posted in Golf News, Golf Quotes, Martin Vousden by GoKartThought for the Day
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
Bring it on
As GoKart likes to regard itself as having its finger on the pulse, ear to the ground and any other insider, informed, access to the skinny cliché you can think of, you will no doubt want our view on who is going to win the Open. But the truth is, what the heck do we (or anyone else) really know? Who, for example, could have predicted Ben Curtis, Todd Hamilton or Paul Lawrie to lift the claret jug over the last decade or so? And how about Trevor Immelman and Zach Johnson to don a fetching green jacket; Lucas Glover, Angel Cabrera and Graeme McDowell to lift the US Open trophy; or YE Yang, Shaun Micheel and Rich Beem to take the year’s fourth Major, the USPGA?
As a general rule of thumb, two of the year’s big ones are captured by players who already have a Major win under their belt, while the other two go to debutant victors, and so far in 2010 that pattern has continued, with Phil Mickelson grabbing the Masters on behalf of the been-there-done-that-got-the-T-shirt brigade, and Northern Ireland’s finest being the representative for the gosh-what-just happened contestants, who are supposed to be there just to make up the numbers. (more…)
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