Thought for the Day:
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in

Donald Ducks a bullet
I have never been able to work out if I would like or loathe my name to be remembered – but only as the answer to a trivia question. Such was the fate, I have always assumed, that would befall Mike Donald. And if his name rings a vague but unanswered bell it is because he is the journeyman pro who emerged from obscurity to go head-to-head with Hale Irwin for the 1990 US Open. I particularly remember it because I was at Medinah CC that week and like most observers, thought that, after matching Irwin after 72 holes, he would disappear during the following day’s 18-hole playoff. But he didn’t, and the two men were still locked together after 90 holes before Irwin finally struck the killer blow at the 91st.
As a consequence I have always had an affection for Donald so I was delighted to see him at the top of the leaderboard for the first stage of the European Senior Tour qualifying school, his 68 getting him into the final stage, where he would join another 72 hopefuls. They would battle it out over four rounds for six all-exempt places, and a further 14 conditional playing cards. Mike looked to have blown his chances after a first day 76 but he then rallied with three rounds of 70, to be the last qualifier, right on the mark of 286.
I will be following the rest of his season with particular interest.

Time to celebrate
How good a week do you think Robert Rock – or, as I like to call him, The Hair – has had? Head to head with Tiger in the final round of the Abu Dhabi HSBC Golf Championship, he outlasted the second best golfer of all time to lift his second European Tour title and elevate his status well above that of journeyman. Okay, Woods played like a donkey but nevertheless, the engagingly modest Rock, who has journeyed from assistant pro at a driving range to the fringes of the world’s top-50 in eight years, was deserving of the win. How long, do you think, before his shirt disappears under a plethora of corporate logos, and that magnificent coiffure is covered by a sponsors baseball cap?

Somebody up there doesn’t like you
Last year Thomas Levet jumped into a water hazard to celebrate winning his own French national title and broke his leg. This year, while competing in the Volvo Champions at Abu Dhabi, he slipped down a step at his hotel, breaking some ribs. He was even more annoyed to discover that, if he pulled out of the event he would still receive his prize money but that it wouldn’t be ‘official’ and therefore not count towards Ryder Cup points. So, feeling battered, bruised and not a little miffed, he slogged his way through the final two rounds, shooting 82, 76.

Get a move on
At the moment, if a European Tour player is put on the clock for slow play 10 times in a season, he gets an automatic fine of £500, which increases to £2,000 for 15 offences and £4,000 for 20. From the beginning of next year, the penalties are to be doubled, which suggests that the current system isn’t working. Lee Westwood says the fines should be tripled or quadrupled – adding: ‘Everyone can learn to pick up speed. Slow play really is driving people away from the game.’
Amen to that.

Where have all the Swedes gone?
One group of players that had a reputation as being methodical, calculated and rigid in routine, to the point of pedantry, resulting in desperately slow play, was the Swedes. This is no longer the case but thinking about it raises the question: Where have all the Swedish wannabes gone? A couple of decades ago there were a few experienced Scandinavians around who tasted considerable success, like Jesper Parnevik and Joakim Haeggman. But what was most striking was the number of hot young talents following in their wake – all due, we were told, to the magnificent junior coaching programme they enjoyed. But now, with the notable exceptions of Robert Karlsson, Peter Hanson and possibly Alex Noren, there don’t seem to be too many potential Swedish multiple winners on the horizon. So what happened to their fabled coaching?

Phil, we need you

One of the saddest sights in any sporting arena is the legendary champion coming to terms (or not) with the inevitable diminution of powers as they age. Monty has been scratching around for the last two years just to make cuts, never mind win, Ernie Els still swings like a symphony of balletic grace but looks as awkward as the rest on the greens, clutching a long putter to his belly. Retief Goosen, the man with the swing that was once voted, by his fellow professionals, as the best on the Europe Tour, is also casting about for a putting method that would restore him to former glories. But of all the great champions apparently on the slide, the one for whom I mourn the most is Phil Mickelson, although he also has more reasons than many to be performing below his magnificent best. His wife and mother were diagnosed with cancer, he himself was told he had psoriatic arthritis and his daughter Sophia recently had a seizure.
Phil was always wild, some would say reckless, off the tee but that magnificent short game, probably without equal, didn’t just get him out of trouble but was usually the platform on which he built his success. So it was sad last year to see him experiment with a long putter, and sadder still so far this year to note that his short game appears to have deserted him. For the first nine holes on the final day of last year’s Open Championship he was the Phil we know, reeling off birdies until he caught the leader, but as soon as he drew level with Darren Clarke his game deserted him, most notably after he missed a tiddler on the 11th of the sort he would normally hole with his eyes closed.
I sincerely hope that he regains some of the old Phil magic, and perhaps Augusta National in April will provide the inspiration for a return to form, but precedence and history suggest otherwise.

Quote of the Week:
My golf is woeful but I will never surrender
Bing Crosby

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Thought for the Day
He who laughs last thinks slowest

With the Grace of God
At what was once regarded as the tender age of 23, Branden Grace has started his professional golf career with the results: Tied 14th, won, won – which surpasses even the explosive entry of Tiger Woods into the paid ranks. And while I am genuinely delighted for the lad, who must feel as if he has solved Fermatt’s Theorum at the first time of asking (the theorum, incidentally, states that: No three positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy the equation an + bn = cn for any integer value of n greater than two, and was unsolved for 358 years. Mathematics Ed), I hope he doesn’t get too carried with this flush of success. The history of the pro game is littered with the corpses of hot young tyros who initially laid waste to everything before them but whose light burned very brightly but for a hugely disappointing amount of time. And while I loathe the idea of becoming what my mother described as a Job’s comforter – the sort of person who tries to cheer up his friend in hospital, who has had a leg amputated, by pointing out that the man in the next bed wants to buy his slipper – I do hope that Branden has enough insight to recognise that a fabulous start doesn’t always lead to a wondrous finish.

People like Nick Dougherty, Marc Warren, Steve Webster, Chad Campbell, Kirk Triplett, Steve Flesch and Ty Tryone were all hailed as great prospects when they tasted early success but they now languish so far down the world rankings that even the thought of breaking into the top-100, as Branden Grace has just done, must seem an unobtainable fantasy, on a par with bedding Thandie Newton, Penelope Cruz and Jennifer Aniston on the same night, or even at the same time.

I offer such apparently pessimistic thoughts to young Mr Grace, as I like to think of him, for two reasons. First, his two victories have come in his native South Africa, which is a slightly different proposition to winning when a large percentage of the world’s best players are lined up against you. Second, those initial successes can come awfully easily, while subsequent victories, once you come down from cloud nine, can be elusive, to say the least. I truly hope that this apparently likeable and clearly talented young man goes on to ever greater achievements but, while it is important to savour his victories, he also needs to be mindful that he is just at the start of a long and arduous road.

Three cheers for the big man
Paul Lawrie is one of the good guys. And while we are lucky in golf with the quality of its protagonists (compare the behaviour of any pro golfer to someone like Mario Balotelli, to pick just one Premiership footballer at random), some manage to elevate the profession of pro golf even higher still. Paul Lawrie is one such man. He remains firmly grounded in the Aberdeen location in which he grew up and learned to play the game so well, and while many golfers are committed to ploughing much of their energy back into the game that has given them so much, Lawrie does it with an enthusiasm and vigour that few of his peerrs can match.

Eleven years ago he founded the Paul Lawrie Foundation and now comes the news that this Foundation is to be the new sponsor of the Scottish Boys Championship. One of the beneficiaries of Lawrie’s mentorship over the years is David Law, who won that championship in 2009, has subsequently turned pro and said: ‘Personally, Paul has helped me out a lot, not just financially but it’s also the time he has got for me. Whenever I’m struggling with my game, he’s at the other end of the phone for me, even if he is abroad. For sponsorship and other things like that, he has been terrific.’

Lawrie has never been the easiest interview, not because he is in any way ill-mannered but because his natural shyness and acute sense of privacy means that he finds it difficult to talk about himself. And yet despite this he is always approachable, courteous and forthcoming. He has also had to endure seemingly never-ending remarks to the effect that he didn’t win the 1999 Open Championship but Jean Van de Velde lost it, which ignores the fact that, over one of the most brutal Open layouts ever seen, he shot a matchless 67 on the last day and then demonstrated his talent in a superb four-hole playoff, in which he birdied the last two holes at Carnoustie, among the most difficult of any in the world, having been sat in the clubhouse for over two hours. Paul has won six times on the European Tour, which elevates him well above the standard of journeyman, or of a fluke major winner, and at the beginning of this season has started to find some real form, especially with the putter. If there is any justice in the world he will win several more times and enhance his status as one of the best golfers Scotland has produced.

Tip from Paul
I was lucky enough to attend a clinic that Paul hosted a few years ago at Gleneagles and one of the things he said has stayed with me ever since, and I think is excellent advice for we amateurs. He said that the transition from backswing to downswing should never feel like you’re hitting the ball but simply be as smooth a transition as possible, with the feeling that you’re gradually accelerating. And when your game gets stuck with a succession of bad shots, forget all about technique and just think about rhythm.

Quote of the week
The next time you see a good player stalking backward and forwards on the green, do not be led away by the idea that he is especially painstaking, but rather pity him for a nervous individual who is putting off the evil moment as long as he possibly can
Ted Ray

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With thanks to Richard W. from Tavistock.  And his spaniel of course.

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Well to be specific (because we weren’t quite sure where Wessex is exactly, so we checked…) – Devon, Wiltshire, Berkshire, Somerset, Dorset and Hants.  Take a look at the schedule for the Wessex Amateur Golf Tour.

Started by GoKart owner Dave Thomas, the tour visits nine impressive venues from March to October; with a separate competition at each, and a cumulative order of merit to battle for too (five best stableford scores from the nine rounds).

So if you’re a serious golfer, or you just fancy visiting some different courses for friendly golf with a competitive edge, it’s worth taking a look at the tour website here

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Thought for the Day
If your parents didn’t have any children, the chances are that you won’t either

Early skirmishes
Those of you old enough to remember (and that’s a fast dwindling group) or, more likely, with some knowledge of 20th century history, will know that in the first six months after we opened hostilities with Germany in 1939 there was a period called the Phoney War. After the drama of announcing our intention to take on the Hun, nothing much happened but there remained a sense of anticipation. A stupid analogy, I know, but the start of a new golf season always reminds me of those events of more than 70 years ago because, despite all the expectations and hopes we are presented with – well, not very much. On the European Tour we have a few tournaments in South Africa, what used to be called the Sunshine Tour but, with the greatest respect, the fields are not representative of the best players in the world. Of course South Africa has some fine golfers but it does not have great strength in depth, which is why people like Louis Ooosthuizen and Charl Schwartzel (and before them Retief Goosen and Ernie Els) tend to become serial winners on home turf. And the US Tour, meanwhile, takes itself to Hawaii for a few weeks during which the players have a wonderful time, I’m sure, but the quality of opposition they face (and the courses over which they play), while worthy, is not the stiffest competition they will meet during the season.

You will search the leaderboards in vain for names like Luke Donald, Lee Westwood, Rory McIlroy, Martin Kaymer and Adam Scott – the top-five in the world as I write, and there is equally no trace of lower-ranked but marquee names such as Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Ian Poulter, Graeme McDowell or Sergio Garcia. On the other side of the Atlantic they know that things don’t really get going until the Tour hits the US mainland, and over here it’s the Middle East desert swing that brings out the big guns. In the meantime, we at least have some pro golf to watch after the Christmas and New Year shutdown but it’s not quite the same.

Worrying trend?
And although the world’s two main golf Tours have started, in a fashion, neither the European Senior Tour, nor the LPGA Tour, has yet published their 2012 schedule, which must be worrying, to say the least. The Ladies European Tour kicks off with the Gold Coast RACV Australian Ladies Masters; from February 2-5 but that’s a co-sanctioned event, as are the few immediately following, and the LET doesn’t really get going until March 22 with the Lalla Meryem Cup in Morocco. The Tour’s website does say there is a ‘potential event’ on March 1-4 but that just means that there’s still a big hole in the schedule.
There is no doubt feverish activity going on right now to attract more sponsors and pad out what is looking like a rather thin calendar of events but to be still looking to fill a gap that is only eight weeks away sends out a less than positive message.

Crystal-ball gazing
It is inevitable at this time of year to turn our thoughts to the season ahead, especially as it’s a Ryder Cup year, and try to imagine what the next 12 months will bring to us golfers. So let’s start with Mr Ryder’s biennial competition, which it pains me to say, I think will be won by team USA. In the post-Celtic Manor euphoria of a dramatic win, we can perhaps forget just how close it was in 2010 and how reliant we were on Graeme McDowell’s intestinal fortitude coming down the stretch, and a crucial mistake by his opponent. The reality is that the competition has become so close and competitive that home advantage is more and more becoming the pivotal factor.

In women’s golf, Yani Tseng will continue to dominate – she’s too good, too young for the rest – and Lexi Thompson, an astonishingly mature teenager who pounds the ball for miles, will catch the imagination of fans everywhere, and win in the process.

Sadly I think that Phil Mickelson’s decline will continue and that Luke Donald will come nowhere near emulating his exploits of 2011, simply because they were so remarkable that they cannot be sustained. Tiger will win again and be in the frame for at least a couple of majors but I don’t think he will win one, although if he is to threaten Jack’s record (and winning those last four to tie the great man will be as difficult as winning the first 14) he needs to strike soon.

As for Lee Westwood, to get that major bogey off his back he just needs one of the big four events to coincide with the week in which his putter behaves itself and if he doesn’t lift a major in 2012, I fear he never will.

Quote of the Week
The great anxiety of the moderate player when making his stroke is to get the ball properly lofted, and in some obstinate cases it seems to take several seasons of experience to convince him completely that the club has been specifically made for the purpose and, if fairly used, is quite accurate
Harry Vardon

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Rock Legend, Rick Wakeman, oft seen on the fairways, who also tonks a decent drive. Introducing the Xmas Blog from a Grumpy Old Golfer;

“This year the weather was kinder than last year as regards playing golf. Last year my balls froze. It’s not easy playing with frozen balls.

However, it did give me lots of excuses for my appalling play that Xmas . Balls bounced everywhere because of the hard ground or disappeared completely into snow drifts or failed to even reach the temporary greens  (terrible at the best of times).

Playing off of rubber mats is a joke if you’re six foot three as your legs (and frozen balls) have to be on the ground whilst your little white ball is balanced on some horrible piece of miniature rubber tubing. It’s also too cold to grip the club properly.

There was also the wind (read into that what you will).

The only thing that didn’t mind the elements was my GoKart.

So, I returned happy after the “game” knowing that there were many reasons for losing so many balls , playing to 12 over my handicap and having frozen balls.

This year though, not so good – the weather has been mild.

No snow.
No ice.
No frozen ground.
No frozen balls.

…and yet I played the same. 12 over my handicap, lost loads of balls, swore a lot and then of course , there was the wind (read into that what you will).

I’m going out again tomorrow. Thank heavens I got loads of balls for Xmas .
My GoKart likes mild weather too.
I reckon that’s because the GoKart doesn’t have frozen balls to hinder it.

Good Winter Slogan that; “GoKart…the only electric trolley that can’t freeze your balls”.

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Thought for the Day
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

Now that the regular tournaments on the European and American Tours have concluded, it’s that time of the year when we hand out some gongs, and brickbats, for the best and worst performances of the year. So here is the GoKart list of the performances of the season

Bad timing of the Year
Lee Westwood. Twice in the last three weeks he has decimated a world class field, finding his best form just as the year ends

American Great White Hope of the Year
Lexi Thompson. The American teenage phenomenon has now won on the LPGA and LET tours in the last three months at the age of 16 and has ignited hopes that Korean domination of the women’s game may be threatened

Hangover of the Year
Darren Clarke. After his heart-warming win in the Open back in July he threatened to have one heck of a party and hasn’t disappointed. He has only had one top-10 since his win at Royal St George’s but do you think he’s bothered?

Major of the Year
The Masters. Charl Schwartzel birdied the last four holes to snatch the green jacket. The US Open and Open were processions.

Anonymous Major winner of the Year
Go on then, tell us who the current US PGA champion is*

Prat of the Year
Steve Williams. Boorish, self-important, petulant and childish when sacked by Tiger, and then followed it up with an extremely ill-advised comment at the caddies dinner.

Close but no coconut Award
Mark Foster. He actually had a good season, finishing 32nd on the Race to Dubai money list with over €800,000 but in mid-summer, in consecutive weeks, he went into the last round leading before final rounds of 71 and 74 saw him finish 3rd and 2nd respectively. When you’re a journeyman and these streaks of form arrive, you have to snatch victory from them.

Welcome back Award
Tiger Woods. Finally he won again. Okay, it was an invitational event and limited field but he birdied the last two holes to do it and as any pro will tell you, a win is a win.

Come back, we miss you Award
Padraig Harrington. The flaky Irishman insists on ploughing his own distinctive furrow but however he manages it, we just want to see him in contention again.

Player of the year
Luke Donald. In almost any other season the accolade would go to Yani Tseng, the undisputed women’s world number one, who had 14 top-10s in 22 events and won seven times, two of those victories being majors – and all at the age of 22. But Luke’s unprecedented feat of winning the money list on both sides of the Atlantic, with three wins in Europe and two in America, alongside a top-10 finish virtually every time he didn’t win, just gives him the edge.

Loss of the Year
Seve Ballesteros. One of the few geniuses to have played the game finally fought a battle even he couldn’t win.

Collapse of the Year
Rory McIlroy. On cruise control at the Masters until that back nine meltdown and a horrific 80.

Redemption of the Year
Rory McIlroy. Barely eight weeks after imploding at Augusta he not only won the US Open but did it in a style to suggest this may be the first of many majors.

Dramatic finish of the Year
Solheim Cup singles. The usual, predictable pattern of the Americans coming from behind in the singles was proceeding exactly as scripted until Suzann Pettersen, Caroline Hedwall and Azahara Munoz turned around their matches, the last three on the course, for an improbable but delightful victory.

Team of the Year
European Solheim Cup team. ‘Nuff said.

Bad sport of the Year
Paula Creamer, for taking her Solheim Cup singles thrashing by Catriona Matthew with singular bad grace.

Over-sized ego of the Year
Ian Poulter (inevitably). Commenting on his desire to market himself as a brand around the world he said, with astonishing arrogance even for him: ‘I owe it to the game of golf to be able to play wherever I want to.’

Nasty smell of the Year
Elliot Saltman. He was banned for cheating. It’s thankfully rare, which is probably why it leaves such a strong aroma.

Over the top commentator of the Year
Mark Roe – for his habit of trying to make EVERY sentence. Sound. As DRAMATIC. As possible

Damp squib of the Year
FedEx Playoffs and Presidents Cup; A dead heat between two artificially  manufactured events that consistently fail to capture the imagination.

Professional suicide of the Year
John Daly. His world ranking is lower than a snake’s belly so most of his opportunities to play come from sponsor’s invitations and yet he continues to slap his hosts in the face by contriving to walk out of their events if unhappy with his performance – which is most of the time.

Quote of the Week
Golf is the only game I know of that actually becomes harder the longer you play it.
Bobby Jones

* The US PGA was won by the man with two surnames – Keegan Bradley

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Thought for the Day:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Good to see that fist pump again
Whatever you may think about Tiger Woods, unless you’re a complete sadist, it was surely good to see him win again at the weekend. After grabbing the halfway lead it looked as if everything was back to normal but of course, this Tiger is a very different animal to the magnificent golfing machine we admired between 1997 and 2009. So when he had a third round 73 in the Chevron Challenge to fall back into the pack I feared the worst but a last day 69 was just good enough – more impressively, he birdied the last two holes, from 15 and six feet respectively – to snatch the title from his playing partner Zach Johnson.
The shame is that Tiger is not now scheduled to play again until next month but at least he’ll have something to smile about over Christmas.

Drama once more
Just as the FedEx Playoffs on the US Tour consistently underwhelm, the Dubai World Championship seems always to provide an exciting finale to the European Tour season. By winning the UBS Hong Kong Open, young scamp Rory McIlroy has put just a little bit of pressure onto Luke Donald, who for some months has apparently been a shoo-in to top the Race to Dubai money-list. Should he manage to hang on and clinch that title, Donald would be the first player ever to top the money lists on both sides of the Atlantic in the same season, which would be an astonishing achievement. And he’s still favourite to do that but if Rory should win in Dubai, and Luke finish outside the top-eight, then the Englishman would be tripped at the last hurdle.

The long and short of it
During a trip to Lisbon last week I played, among others, a course called Penha Longa which, because it has many uphill approach shots, reminded me once again of a phenomenon I have observed many times before, in myself and other handicap golfers. And this is, we almost always leave our approach shots short and very rarely go through the green. It is as if we know that beyond the putting surface lurks all manner of danger; wild beasties perhaps, or half-naked sirens waiting to lure us to a sticky end. The reality, of course, is that the back of the green is often a sight more friendly than the front. Water hazards, bunkers and the like are usually between you and the flagstick, so a much safer option is to take more club and guarantee reaching the putting surface, or even going beyond it.
One explanation for us coming up short is simply that we’re not consistent and, for whatever reason, we don’t make the clean strike that is the mark of a good shot. But what I am talking about is the occasions when we do hit the ball as intended, and it still doesn’t reach.

Think about standing in the fairway, knowing your ball is about to come up short and I would guess that your most over-riding emotion will be disappointment. But now imagine that you have hit the ball absolutely flush, and it’s clear that it will fly the green, what do you think your emotion is now? I would predict that it’s fear, and that you will hop from foot to foot telling your ball to ‘get down’ or ‘sit’. It’s fear of the unknown. You can see the problems short of the green, but through the putting surface you don’t know what awaits you.
Well, that’s my theory.

TigerWatch
As of December 5, 2011, Tiger Woods is ranked 22nd in the world

Quote of the week
The chief reaction among amateurs to poor putting, it seems to me, is exasperation, combined with a sort of vague hope that, by some kind of mini-miracle, it will all have gotten better by the next time they play.
Jack Nicklaus

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Thought for the Day:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Does this look like an interested face?
Writing about golf is my job, and one which I enjoy very much. But like all jobs, there are the odd bits you would rather not do – explain the intricacies of the FedEx Playoff scoring system, for example, or think too deeply about some of the things Tiger Woods has been up to, or interview Sir Nick Faldo, under any circumstances. Added to this short list, I have to confess, is the requirement to show the slightest bit of interest in the Presidents Cup.

There are two main reasons for my resistance. First, it’s a competition that was created, rather than one which evolved, and that’s usually a recipe for failure. As a contrast, consider the Masters. It was initially a private, invitation-only event but for a number of reasons – the high regard in which Bobby Jones was held, the magnificence of the course on which it is played, the ‘shot heard around the world’ by Gene Sarazen in its second staging – it quickly achieved an eminent status that lifted it above run-of-the-mill tournaments and eventually led to it being regarded as golf’s fourth major. In stark contrast, no matter how many times the Americans tell us that their flagship PGA Tour event, the Players (which they now insist on labelling THE PLAYERS) is the game’s fifth major, the rest of the world looks down its nose, says ‘Yeh, right’ and ignores this patently ludicrous claim. So it is with the Presidents Cup, which America would love to believe has the same stature as the Ryder Cup but this level of significance, importance or relevance exists only in the addled and deluded minds of a few people at the US Tour – and I’m not even convinced that they believe it.

The second reason I just cannot get interested in the competition is its predictability. It has now been staged nine times and the scoreline for America reads: Played nine, won seven, tied one and lost one. Such one-sidedness hasn’t been since our own pantomime villain Frank Bruno climbed into a ring with the barely-controlled beast that was Mike Tyson at the peak of his considerable powers. In order for a sporting contest to generate interest, drama or excitement, there has to be a contest, not a lop-sided demonstration of superiority – which is why this season’s Formula One Championship, for example, has been about as interesting as the contents of my handkerchief.

The Americans, of course, don’t care. To them, winning and the supposed glory that accompanies it is all that matters – which is why they ludicrously describe their season-ending baseball event as the World Series, despite it being contested by only three countries – USA, Canada and Puerto Rica.
And so they continue to shout from the rooftops that the Presidents Cup is a major sporting event of global significance when it is, in fact, a less than mildly diverting sideshow of interest only to the participants.

Time to leave the stage
Having mentioned some of the bad parts of writing about golf, it would be remiss not to emphasise that these are far outweighed by the good. And of these, one of the best experiences of all was the opportunity to walk around Muirfield with John Daly during a practice round for the 1992 Open Championship. He had won the previous year’s US PGA Championship at Crooked Stick in blistering style, with a combination of raw power from the tee and delicacy on and around the greens, so I wrote to his management company to arrange an interview at Muirfield and when I met the man at the clubhouse he said: ‘Why don’t you just walk with me and we’ll talk on the way.’

Despite his new status as major winner he was modest, unaffected and far too trusting for his own good (he made a number of unthinkingly injudicious remarks that I didn’t include in my article because he would have been crucified). It was apparent that he didn’t have the aptitude for a life in pursuit of academic or intellectual enlightenment but that was fine – not all pro golfers are bright and most don’t need to be.

Because I liked John so much I have watched with ever-increasing sadness the emotional car crash that his life has become and have very reluctantly concluded that this may now be the time when he should quit the game. He won’t, of course, so perhaps various tournament organisers around the world should make the decision for him. With a current world ranking of 676, John can only play on sponsor invitations but he insists on biting the hand that feeds him. Two weeks ago the Man-child that is Daly walked out of the Australian Open, ostensibly because he had run out of golf balls, having deposited six or seven into a water hazard (people kind of lost count). But the real reason is that he was earlier slapped with a two-stroke penalty for playing the wrong ball out of a bunker – an elementary mistake for someone of his experience. He then made such hasty and half-hearted attempts to clear the fatal water hazard on the 11th hole that it was obvious he was trying to lose his remaining golf balls, to give him an excuse to leave the course. But as usual with John, his cunning plan was so transparent that it fooled nobody. He was, incidentally, seven over par after 10 holes.

Various golf Tours, tournaments and fans around the world have indulged Daly over the years and always been prepared to give him another chance but I really do think that if he will not accept the reality that it’s time he retired, we should perhaps make the decision for him.

TigerWatch
As of November 21, 2011, Tiger Woods is ranked 51st in the world

Quote of the week
When a putter is waiting his turn to hole out a putt of one or two feet in length, on which the match hangs at the last hole, it is of vital importance that he think of nothing. At this supreme moment he ought to fill his mind with vacancy. He must not even allow himself the consolation of religion.
Sir Walter Simpson

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Thought for the Day:Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now

Runaway mouth
There is no doubt that Steve Williams, erstwhile caddy to Tiger Woods, is a boorish, arrogant, obnoxious, egotistical prat but racist? I don’t think so. You will almost certainly have noticed the media storm that has been whipped up by Williams’ insensitive, stupid remark at a private dinner during last week’s WGC HSBC Championship in China but just in case you missed it, while accepting a tongue-in-cheek award for ‘Celebration of the Year’, Williams said of Woods: ‘It was my aim to shove it right up that black asshole.’ He was talking about his first taste of victory on the bag of Adam Scott, shortly after being sacked by Woods, when he said in the immediate aftermath of the triumph that it was: ‘The best win of my career.’ But to put it in context, the caddy dinner is always a pretty raucous, irreverent occasion in which bad language and offensive comments are the norm – and where, by the way, there is a long-standing tradition that whatever is said in the room stays in the room. I think it is a measure of Williams’ unpopularity even among his peers that someone has broken ranks and fed the story to the media, and one of them is quoted as saying: ‘Never have you been in a room and seen so many jaws drop at the same time. We knew he was an idiot but we didn’t know he was a racist idiot.’

And of course, it is the use of the ‘black’ that has captured everyone’s attention, as it should. But while the remark is racist, I don’t think Williams is – and if that sounds double-Dutch the nearest parallel I can think of is that intelligent people can say or do stupid things: that doesn’t mean that they’re stupid.

Steve Williams worked for Tiger for 13 years. They shared 13 major wins, 72 victories around the world and numerous other highs, and comparatively few lows. They hugged and high-fived, played social golf together and Tiger was best man when Williams got married, so it is no surprise that Williams believed that the relationship was much more than employer/employee. And Woods himself described Williams as a friend as well as a caddy so it is little wonder that the bagman was so angry at being sacked. But if Williams is a racist, he did a very good job of disguising it for nearly a decade-and-a-half of a working relationship that has often been likened to a marriage.

Steve Williams is an idiot who was badly burned when a man who he regarded as a brother gave him the boot. As a result he has spoken without thinking, more than once and is yet again having to face the consequences of opening mouth before engaging brain. But let’s not hang him for being an idiot, or saddle him with the unjust label of racist.

It’s a small world
Americans are often accused of being parochial, and of having little interest in sporting events outside their own borders – unless, of course, they are being won by an American. So when the World Golf Championship (WGC) events were introduced a few years ago, in an effort to stage big money, high prestige tournaments around the world, open only to the best players, we hoped that might change. But visit the US PGA Tour website the day after the WGC HSBC Championship ended in China and you have to search to find the result – the main story is about the US Champions Tour.

This couldn’t possibly be because only one American, Hunter Mahan, made the top-10 in China, and that none of the few Yanks who made the trip ever looked liked winning, could it?

Welcome back
In addition to Martin Kaymer storming to victory in that WGC event, his first win since January, Graeme McDowell (3rd) looks to be finding a bit of form again, Paul Casey (tied 4th) reminded us how much we have missed him because of his injury problems and Justin Rose (tied 7th) stirred memories of how good he can be. And all this happened just a week after Sergio Garcia recorded back-to-back victories.

If Lee Westwood could only find a reliable putting stroke, my cup would runneth over.

TigerWatch
As of November 7, 2011, Tiger Woods is ranked 58th in the world

Quote of the week
Golf is the loneliest sport. You’re completely alone with every conceivable opportunity to defeat yourself. Golf brings out your assets and liabilities as a person. The longer you play, the more certain you are that a man’s performance is the outward manifestation of who, in his heart, he really thinks he is.
Hale Irwin

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