Thought for the Day
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back
A singular talent
What is it with the Americans and singles? In all the team competitions – Walker, Curtis, Ryder and Solheim Cups, it doesn’t matter what sort of advantage our home team builds over the first few series of matches, when the singles are played the Yanks will come back hard.
It happened again over the weekend at Royal Aberdeen in the Walker Cup when, going into the man on man final series of matches, Great Britain & Ireland had such a commanding lead – 10.5 to 5.5 – that they only needed three points from a possible 12 to regain the trophy. It should have been a cakewalk and yet during the course of an often painful afternoon, red figures went up on the leaderboard with frightening regularity before GB&I eventually staggered over the line, grateful to end up with a 14-12 scoreline that was just enough for victory.
As will be demonstrated again in the Solheim Cup which starts in 11 days, it ain’t over, as our transatlantic cousins like to remind us too often for comfort, until the fat lady sings.
Tiger is tight
As if he didn’t have enough recent problems to contend with, news comes from across the Atlantic that in a poll to find out which celebrity is the worst tipper, Tiger Woods comes first. He is worth over, $500 million (a considerable reduction since his divorce) and says that the reason for his apparent miserliness is that he never carries cash. One of the illustrations cited for his meanness is that once in a casino, while playing blackjack at $10,000-a-hand, Tiger put down a $5 tip but then picked it up again when he realised he’d already tipped the croupier (the same amount) earlier in the night.
The survey appeared in a New York Times blog where writer Lee Klein gathered the results after analysing a number of other websites devoted to tipping and Klein says: ‘The same names kept coming up again and again.’
Out of nothing more than a base desire to name and shame, we can reveal that other names on the list include Madonna, Barbra Streisand, Mariah Carey, Sean Penn and Bill Cosby.
Footnote: At the time of writing, Tiger is currently ranked 46th in the world.
Merry Mex strikes again
Just when you think you have heard all the Lee Trevino stories and quotes another one comes along to raise a smile. In 1965, very early in his career, not long after he joined the US Tour, Lee was outside his house in Dallas mowing the lawn. A large and rather expensive Cadillac pulled up and the woman driver lowered the window and said: ‘Excuse me, do you speak English?’
Trevino replied: ‘Yes Ma’am, I do.’
The woman asked: ‘What do you charge to do gardening work?’
Lee said: ‘Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her.’
He wasn’t hired.
Leave your ego at the door
Whenever I’m fortunate enough to have a caddy I like to quiz them on their job and ask all sorts of daft questions, such as: ‘Which nationality tends to be the better golfers; who are the grumpiest, cheeriest?’ and so on. One question I always ask is: ‘What’s the biggest mistake amateur golfers make?’ and the invariable response, in one form or another, is: ‘They over-estimate their abilities.’
To help overcome this chronic egotism, the PGA of America and the USGA recently launched ‘Tee it Forward’, a national initiative to encourage golfers to play the course at a length appropriate to their average driving distance, and provided the following table for guidance.
Driving distance Length of course
Tour Pro 7,600 – 7,900 yards
300 yards 7,150 – 7,400
275 yards 6,700 – 6,900
250 yards 6,200 – 6,400
225 yards 5,800 – 6,000
200 yards 5,200 – 5,400
175 yards 4,400 – 4,600
150 yards 3,500 – 3,700
125 yards 2,800 – 3,000
Tee it Forward says that, using this chart would mean that handicap golfers would face the same sort of challenge as the pros – hitting similar clubs into the greens, for example – and that their game would be quicker and more enjoyable as a result. It’s an excellent initiative but doomed to fail for the very reason that it has been introduced; namely that golfers consistently over-estimate their abilities. So the guy who thinks he’s a demon with his driver but in truth rarely knocks it more than 225 yards, will still be playing from the wrong tees.
Quote of the Week
Splosh! One of the finest sights in the world: the other man’s ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.
The inimitable Henry Longhurst