Thought for the Day:
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement
Distressing, Disorientating Dissonance
I find myself in the unusual and not entirely welcome position of agreeing with Ian Poulter. We all like to have a few certainties in our life – that the sun will rise in the morning, toast will always fall butter side down, and Liverpool FC will find ever more inventive ways of causing its fans to despair (Mario Balotelli, I ask you). So whenever Poulter takes to the Twittersphere I can be confident he will say something so crass that I can happily hold him up to ridicule – not that he gives a tinker’s cuss what I think. This time however, in taking the president of the US PGA to task, I think he was spot on.
It all started when Poulter criticised the Ryder Cup captaincy of both Tom Watson last month, and Nick Faldo in 2008 – perfectly reasonable opprobrium as they were both disasters. Ted Bishop, showing his unerring ability to grasp the wrong end of the stick, fired back by comparing the playing records of Watson and Faldo to that of Poulter. He missed the point entirely because Ian was talking about their records as Ryder Cup captains, not golfers. But then Ted tried to put the Englishman down by calling him a ‘Lil girl’ and in the process simply put a noose around his own neck. What’s more he wasn’t satisfied with just tweeting the remark, he then repeated it on Facebook.
For once in his life Ian’s response was calm, measured and thoughtful. Rather than adopt his usual position of throwing insults at people with whom he disagrees, he simply posed the question: ‘Is being called a little girl meant to be derogatory or a put-down?’ before adding: ‘That’s pretty shocking and disappointing, especially coming from the leader of the PGA of America.’
Whether or not Bishop should have been subsequently sacked, with only one month to run on his two-year term of office is a different issue. But when will people in authority or high profile jobs wake up to the dangers that can arise from off-the-cuff remarks on social media?
Reasons to dislike:
Kent golfer Peter Vickerman (12 handicap) is believed to have made the longest hole-in-one in Britain. He did it at the 408-yard, par-four 11th at Littlestone Golf Club. It was his third ace.
And Nicolas Colsaerts recently hit the longest drive on the European Tour. He hit his ball 447 yards on the par-five 18th on the Twenty-Ten course at Celtic Manor during the Wales Open. He made eagle on the hole.
Hanging’s too good for them.
Happy to settle?
The sight of Darren Clarke lifting the claret jug at Royal St George’s in 2011 was a truly welcome sight, even to those of us who found him to be rude, ungracious and at times downright offensive. But it’s noticeable that after landing their first major, many golfers go into a bit of a slump. Some (Ben Curtis, Todd Hamilton, Michael Campbell, David Duval, Geoff Ogilvy, Shaun Micheel) pretty much disappear while others (Justin Rose, Graeme McDowell, Rory McIlroy) continue to develop and improve.
Then there are those whose breakthrough comes later in life and which appears, on the surface at least, to be the icing on the cake of a successful and lucrative career. So much so that, knowingly or not, the golfer concerned eases up and finds it impossible to recapture the form needed to win routine events, never mind majors. Stewart Cink memorably beat Tom Watson at Turnberry in 2009 but since then in five years on the PGA Tour has managed seven top-10 finishes and none in the top-five, never mind wins or runner-up spots.
But that record looks good when set against Darren’s. Since his momentous Open victory he hasn’t recorded one top-10 result in the last three years, his best being tied 12th (the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship 13 months ago).
I hope that he can look back on a successful, rewarding and enjoyable career with great satisfaction, rather than be eternally frustrated with his subsequent decline.
Question: When is a 27-year jail sentence not long enough?
Answer: When you’re a golf coach, paedophile and attempted murderer.
Andrew Nisbet was a nationally recognised and respected junior golf coach. That he should use his position of trust to sexually abuse his pupils is horrific enough but then when he was arrested – the day before he was due to receive the Northern California PGA’s 2013 Junior Golf Leader Award – he tried to get a man he believed to be a professional assassin to kill three of his victims. He eventually made a plea bargain, as a result of which 79 other felonies relating to sex crimes were dismissed.
The state prosecutor said that he accepted the plea bargain to spare three teenage boys a horrible ordeal in court but added: ‘Hopefully any future evaluation will conclude (that Nisbet) is a sexually violent predator and will always be one.’
One of the parents of the three teenage boys who originally brought the sex abuse charges added: ‘This is a sick man who should never be released.’
It’s hard to disagree
Quote of the Week
Really, it speaks to how boring my life is that I’m not giving up this thing that causes me such misery. Nothing else interests me like golf. Nothing. I think golf is literally an addiction. I’m surprised there’s not a Golf Anonymous
Larry David, comedian